I thought I would update you all on the apocalypse day.. erm.. well honestly I lost track of days?
It could be day 8- it could actually be day 973.. who knows!!
No work or school has left me all over the place and wondering how long my sanity will hold out.
Despite numerous lectures on the importance of social distancing and not going to the shop every 5 minutes, my children do not understand the concept of rationing. People give me funny looks if I try and take 3 kids into the spar- and apparently being a single parent is frowned upon in the end of days.
Who knew?
Loki insists on helping himself to whatever food he can find. I spent 10 minutes cleaning the living room and went back to the kitchen where he tells me that I must
'Look in the cupboard'. So I do. 'Where did those penguins go Mum?'. He asks, then proceeds to run up the stairs while I stare in disbelief at the empty pack of penguins. When I finally caught up with him and asked where he had hidden them he pointed gingerly at his tummy. Yes ladies and gentlemen the little swine had in fact gobbled up 6 penguins in the space of about 7 minutes. No snacks for the rest of the day- which of course means much upset from the other 2. Give. Me. Strength.
We ventured out yesterday for the first time in 10 days, to pick up the click and collect order from a certain well known supermarket. It is the first time we have been out since all this lockdown madness began. The queue for said well known supermarket was ridiculous- people waiting 2 metres apart across the car park for an hour just to get in the door. I was so glad I could drive in collect my stuff and immediately leave! Or so I thought- being the only person at click and collect I thought we would be in and out in minutes- but that was not meant to be. I was greeted at my car window by a girl who obviously hadn't got the memo about social distancing. She then went off in search of my shopping.
20 minutes I waited in my boot for her to return. When she finally arrived with my shopping she announced that the top 2 rows of shopping on the left of the trolley were mine- and everything on the right. So what was below the 2 rows on the left I hear you ask- well that would be someone else's shopping. She then went back inside and left me to it. I debated pleading ignorance and taking the lot but of course I didn't. (Honest) But I did wonder how leaving that shopping with me was going to help the spread of Covid-19. If I did have it (which I am assuming I don't?) then I could have infected the lot? Now looking at my own shopping and wondering if it is actually covered in corona germs...*Runs off in search of Dettol*I have to admit that where school work is concerned I have been a little slack- While Facebook is being filled with pictures and statuses about home schooling- My little angels have spent most of their days either playing in the garden, playing on video games, watching TV, or their favourite- Eating! We did take a break and bake some cakes a few days ago- and school work is there if/ when they want to do any. Sky has so far been the only 1 to take me up on that- and this was the result- Well she's not wrong!
You know what? This is an incredibly stressful time- and the kids are facing these huge changes, just as much, if not more so than the rest of us. They are away from their friends, classmates, teachers. Routine has gone out of the window and I will be damned if i'm going to start arguing with them over sitting down and doing some maths that honestly, I probably wouldn't be able to help them with anyway. There will be plenty of time for school when the apocalypse is over. Even if there isn't, the mental health of my kids is slightly more important than their ability to work out X if Y is Z and Z is a giraffe.. That is after all, what calculators are for!So to all those parent shaming perfect Mums and Dads out there-(we all know at least 1 right?) Just do us all a favour for the next few weeks and FUCK OFF! No-one cares if little Henry can do long multiplication, or if darling Jane just penned an epic tale of triumph in the face of this deadly pandemic.
My kid put matching socks on today- alright Susan! That's a win in my book!
I joke of course- if you can hold your child's attention with school work without wanting to stab yourself in the eye with a pencil after 7 seconds then congratulations. (But its still not a competition).
If you got up at least once this week, and actually put clothes on then well done! If your child has survived a whole week of lockdown- You are doing great! Give yourself a pat on the back- and a very large glass of wine!
Speaking of wine- one of my lovely friends had wine and gin delivered to my house yesterday- so at least at the end of each stressful day, I can drown my sorrows. Its quite possible that I will emerge from my house at the end of all this a raging alcoholic, but I am embracing the madness and will worry about what happens later, when we are eventually allowed to leave our homes again-
Cheers Everyone!
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