Thursday 9 March 2017

Student again, take..4?

Last week I decided to try a creative writing course at college. I love to write, and try to find time when I can, but since having the kids my words just don't seem to come out in the same way that they used to.
I used to like sharing what I'd written with people, now I am far too scared to open up and let people read my work. I just don't feel like my writing has the same quality that it did before, and I'm really hoping a more academic setting, and some motivation to actually do some writing will help.

I suppose my ultimate goal is to get something published, be that a novel or a poem, it's something I have always wanted to 'tick off the bucket list'. To be honest I'd be happy if it just improves my writing style enough to get more followers with the blog! I really do think having children kills brain cells. My mind goes blank every time I sit down to write, whereas before I had so many idea I could write for hours. I think my mind is too full of Peppa Pig, and Lego!

I suppose the other problem is that before kids, if I got an idea I could grab a pen or the laptop and just write then and there, lately I find inspiration will hit right in the middle of changing a nappy, or cooking the tea. By the time I get a pen and paper I've lost it again. In the evenings I'm just too exhausted to think about anything.

Fingers crossed having 'homework' and actually engaging my brain a couple times a week will help!


Changes

So, once again it's been forever since I last updated here, I guess there has been a lot of stuff going on and I've not really had a chance to sit down and get my thoughts into words.

Joe and I decided to give things one more go, we've been back together since just after Christmas, and things are going really well. We will be moving back in together properly in April, and I can't wait to be a family again!

The one thing I didn't anticipate is the reactions from friends and family. It's funny how when you break up with someone the world and it's dog suddenly decides to weigh in on your relationship. While we both probably said things about each other to our friends, I assumed most people would understand that we were both in a bad place emotionally, but apparently not.

There's been mixed feelings among both our friends and families, some good, some bad. But what grates on me the most is the people who start with 'I know it's your decision and up to you but...'
Like they honestly believe that we've just jumped back into this without any thought to the consequences. The truth is we were still close even after the split, still talked and saw a lot of each other, and not just for the kids. We probably talked and communicated with each other more than we have in years. It gave us both a chance to find out what we really wanted, and a chance for us both to air what was bothering us before the split without the worry of upsetting the other.

For the past couple months we've just carried on communicating, being honest about our feelings, even when we know it's not what the other wants to hear, and it's been going really well. The kids are happier, and I am so much more content with being able to spend more time with my babies too.

I know non of us can see the future, and I'm not going to say it will definitely be forever this time, but I hope it is, and I hope we can keep working through things, and making each other happy again.