Thursday, 28 May 2020

Comfort in Sound

What. A. Week.

How is lockdown treating everyone? (Tell me in the comments if you want- but not going to lie I probably won't read them...sorry.) I have been spending the week trying to re-engage myself with the world. It seems my brain has vacated the premises for the past few weeks and with the threat of being back at work looming in the not so distant future, I thought I should try and remember how to function as a human being.

I've been working on my novel, (Probably best not to get too excited over that though- it's been a work in progress for the best part of 10 years and still not even close to finished.) and reading more autobiographies from some of my favourite comedians. This weeks offering was 'Mack the Life' by Lee Mack. I can confirm he comes across equally as funny on paper as he does on the TV- take from that what you will. 

I've also spent the week trying to cut back on my alcohol consumption before I get to the point of having to admit to myself that maybe I have a problem. More than a little bit of wine and beer has been consumed over the weeks. I should probably also look at fixing my sleeping patterns. 4am is not the time to be going to bed if I have to start getting up before 9am again, although the latter will probably get easier when I ditch the hangovers.

I've spent a lot of time listening to music during lockdown- probably because it goes well with both drinking and staying up until the early hours. It has been great to re-discover some of the bands I used to enjoy, like I had completely forgotten Razorlight existed! I've been introducing the kids to the likes of Bowling For Soup, Fall out boy, Good Charlotte, Blink 182, Paramore, Feeder- It's been so much fun seeing their reactions. I actually caught Sam singing some Good Charlotte while playing X Box the other day. That made me smile until I realised the song he was singing... 'You know the happiest day of my life, is the day that I die....' Erm. Yes. Maybe don't sing that at school Sam. Oops.

I was very excited to get a ticket to an online new material gig for Sarah Millican this week! Sarah Millican and friends live from my bedroom! The 'show' consisted of a few different comedians trying out some of their new material, followed by Sarah and her husband Gary Delaney. It was brilliant.  I can now also tune in every Wednesday for my comedy fix. Something to look forward to! 

Well I should probably go and put the kids to bed, not that I can crack open the wine so they may as well run round for another 5 minutes.. 

Maybe 1 glass won't hurt? (Not an alcoholic... I promise!)




Wednesday, 13 May 2020

Buttered Parnsips..

Good Afternoon (Or Morning, or Evening, maybe even Goodnight, depending on what time you find yourself reading this...)

Another week has passed, and today we see the first signs that lockdown is being eased. Apparently we can now see 1 member of another household at a time providing we meet outside, and stay 2 meters apart. So I can now leave my children home alone, and meet 1 of my parents (but not both) in the local park providing we stay 2 meters away from each other. An excellent plan with only 2 minor draw backs-

  1.  I can't leave my 10, 7 and 6 year old's home alone. (Well not without the house being burned to the ground or 1 of them killing the other.)
  2. If another family member decides to take their household to the park at the same time, we must immediately leave as though you can be around total strangers in the park as long as you maintain social distancing, you may only speak to family/ friends on a 1-1 basis.

I think I have grasped that correctly? I also understand that while we are not allowed to invite family members into our households, we can invite in total strangers for the purpose of selling our homes. So.. No family members that you know have also isolated for 7 weeks- but all the strangers- (Who knows where they've been) are allowed to parade around judging my decor. We can also return to work- but don't return to work, and don't go on public transport, unless you have to go on public transport, but also GO TO WORK, unless you can't.. Well Boris, thanks mate, that makes perfect sense.

I've been reading a lot this last week, I find comedy the best distraction right now so read Sarah Millican's 'How to be champion' (which apparently involves an overhaul of your knicker draw and pissing in the passenger seat of your car). Followed by 'Buttered Parsnips' by Joe Lycett (Occasionally known as Hugo Boss). Now the latter did cause a little confusion as I didn't read the title before buying and got an email from Amazon confirming my purchase of 'Buttered Parsnips'. Which led to many questions such as, ' Can I buy parsnips on Amazon?' and 'Surely you'd want them with honey not butter?'. Confusion aside, the book has had me laughing out loud while the kids sit there staring, probably assuming Mummy is in 1 of her hysterical moods again and so they should probably just leave her to it and make the most of not being told they have to get off the X Box...

In other news, the kids are going to go stay overnight at their Dads this week for the first time in 8 weeks. Little apprehensive, not going to lie. Being on my own in the house for 24 hours seems a long time now I've become accustomed to them being here 24/7. I plan to use the time to clean the house- take the dog for a long walk, and eat food that doesn't involve fish fingers, or chips. However I imagine it will be spent drinking wine, listening to music, and sleeping. I'll let you know how that plays out... Roll on normality and the Monday night Barge pub quiz!

I shall leave you with my favourite photo of the week... BBQ FOOD!!